Stupid Things I Do

I was feeling very halla-halla as I left Tronic's 10th floor apartment and got into the elevator.

The elevators at the Mayfair Apartments in Plaza Damas are quite awkward because all the surfaces are reflective (except the floor). So there I was, alone and standing really close to the door and doing that thing where your tounge makes loud suction noises because you are cleaning your teeth and also because you are trying to make loud suction noises with your tounge. I had the place to myself.. I was suctioning away like it was my birthday and doing all the things people do when close up in a mirror.

The doors suddenly opened and assuming it was the ground floor, I made one last loud squeak and walked out and straight into a really cute girl. I didn't have time to remove my tounge from my teeth, so it was stuck somewhere between my canines and my incisors, creating an unsightly yet very trucker-cool bulge in my upper lip.

"Excuse Me"

I didn't say anything. I made brief eye contact and then backed up into the lift and pressed the open door button as she made her way in. I pressed "G" again.

"Thank You"

I didn't say anything. I folded my arms and just looked 45 degrees to my right. Awkward silence ensued. I could see her looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I could see her looking at me looking at her out of the corner of my eye. I think it was because I hadn't removed my tounge from the suction noise position. I could have sworn I made a small little squeak just for posterity's sake, but I could be wrong.

We reached the ground floor and I held the doors open as she walked out. Once again,

"Thank You"

and I said absolutely nothing. By now I was staring at the floor. My tounge was starting to hurt.

She was about 3 steps ahead of me when I realised that my established walking speed would make me overtake her in the next 2 seconds. I started to make my move on the right but she heard my footsteps and began to turn her head slightly. At that precise moment, I quickly adjusted and switched to the left side instead. 2 steps later I was beside her and 4 steps later I was ahead of her. She had stopped in her tracks and had made one full, right turning circle as she tried to catch my eye. I covered the last 4 feet with ease and as I hit the glass doors I looked up and she caught me.

She was looking straight at me through the reflection in the doors, curly auburn hair still settling in curls from the spin she just made. She had a really confused look on her face. I had my tounge stuck between my teeth. We held the look for an eighth of a second and then I was out.

As I left the building, I was triumphant. Paranoia induced by halla-halla time always makes me try to avoid any form of interpersonal contact when travelling from Private Space to Car. Faced with the complicated situation of a friendly and polite hot chick, I succesfully dodged all her attempts at pleasantry.

But then I got into my car and my conscience pulled me aside and said "Hey hey hey man.... Koobz... what the hell, dude? You are always complaining about Malaysians being rude and not saying thank you, and you are always complaining about hot chicks being arrogant. Then you go an do this... man, you suck". The best part is, this girl was really cute. REALLY cute.

I sighed, reached for a Winston Light, and headed back to the lobby. She was still standing there in her Chinese Girl on a Sunday shorts, reading the free copy of the Sun. I walked up to her and said,

"Excuse me... Sorry, that was really rude of me just now. I owe you an "Excuse me" and at least two "Your Welcomes". I'm perpetually complaining about Malaysians being rude and it really caught me off-guard when you said thank you. Anyway, I'm sorry. Hopefully I'll see you around."

She giggled and said "It's ok. Yeah, see you around" and then gave me her best "Wow. You are really wierd but in a good way. Yes Koobz, I hope to continue bumping into you in the lift and around the lobby. Thank you. Have a pleasant day" smile and we both went our seperate ways.

I wonder if I would have done that if she wasn't so damn cute...