"You paid HOW much for slippers???"

Sometime during the middle of 2004, I was given the delicious oppurtunity of the lead role in a Shakespearean tele-movie ("A Made-for-TV Special!" for my American friends) on Singaporean television. It was the story of Valentine (me) and Proteus, the "Two Gentlemen of Verona" (this being a Singaporean adaptation of the work, their names were changed to Valentine Ranjit Sharma and Potato Lim).

The opportunity was made far "HO" as it offered me a chance to leave KL for a glorious 1 week. The city was becoming a tad bit suffocating and frankly I just needed to not see certain people in my life for at least a few hours... or days.

So I went.

Singapore here I come!

But Singapore is another story... this entry is about my slippers.

At the end of my crazy 5 day shoot in the Lion City, I had saved all my per diem as well as my fee (cash money babyyyyyyyyy) and hit Orchard Road.

My goal was a pair of Birkies. I knew countless people who had them in the US and they were always waxing lyrical about how comfortable, durable, convenient, sexy, EURO 3 emissions compliant they were. Somehow, I was never convinced... it was always too much of a "white" thing for me to buy a pair of Birkenstocks in the US (especially since my roommate Hil is a damn hippy anyway, and he had a pair... 1 pair per room is more than cukup, as I used to say back then).

Then I started going out with this girl in KL and SHE had a pair... and she was always wearing them. In fact, she even got a new pair mid-way through the relationship and just kept on wearing the new ones.

By this point I had left all my stupid "It's so white" feelings behind me (about a lot of things) and began to envy the silent smugness in my girl's face or the nature-cool elegance of her footwear stylings. So I had to have a pair. Damn you.

Fast-forward again to the part where I picked one out, fitted myself, and paid the money for it... S$100!!!! That's about RM220.00 (about 75 cents in the US and 47 giant wooden coins in Tonga-Tonga) for a fucking pair of slippers! The pair I was wearing at the time only cost me RM7, and they were splendiferous.

But I bought them anyway, and put them on immidiately and went about my day. That night, I packed my bags and snagged a ride back to KL with my brother (The Don was in town on drinking purposes). My 6 hour old Birkenstocks on the other hand, they were still at Vinu's apartment in Singapore.

After an emergency phone call, Vinu promised me he would take good care of them while waiting for me to tell him of my latest friend who was passing through Singapore who would gladly take the slippers off his hands for him... or me rather. So I called in favors left, right, and centre. People were going to Singapore left, right, and centre, but no one had the extra effort required to make a phone call and go pick up a pair of slippers for a brother.... nobody.

2 months past. I thought of my slippers now and then. I thought about rescuing them, making a quick dash south past the border and then back up again for some bak kut teh. Nothing materialized.

5 months past. I met CC's cousin Shrek on the way to a rave. He was drunk, I was drunk. Shreik is from Johor (big city in the south, neighbours with Singapore. We give them vices and petrol, they give us cash money babyyyyyyyyyyyyy) and being Indian, the both of us felt the need to be even drunker and very sharing. One thing led to another before he pulled me close and eyeballed me with his freaky-deeky Shrek eyes

"Are you the Koobz who was acting in Singapore?"

"Yeah man... CC told you issit? I don't act anymore"

"No man, I don't care. I know Vinu. He's my sister's girlfriend's sister's boyfriend. He has your slippers."

TO BE CONTINUED...

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END OF PART 1.
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