Reason #53

While searching for reference material on swamp monsters rising out of lakes (sometimes I actually do love my job), I came across a very interesting article entitled "The Biology of B-Movie Monsters".

The article debunks all sorts of scientific impossibilites that the movies have ignored... but the movies had their own good reasons. What fun would King Kong would have been if his bones kept breaking under his own weight? What joy could we have gotten out of seeing Mothra destroy Tokyo if they were all factual about it and increased its volume of tracheal tubes and thus allowing for less biomass and reducing the density of everyone's favorite giant moth to that of the average cotton ball? WHAT JOY I ask...

The best thing about the article though is that it tells you how to defeat giant ants armed with a sharp eye and some pebbles. That's the kind of information I really dig.

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Which reminds me of something else... I remember getting an e-mail years ago when e-mail was all the rage (and people actually used to keep in touch) about "100 Reasons Why We Are Glad to be Men". It was full of the usual internet humour, but I will always remember Reason #53:

"We know shit about tanks"

Which is pretty much true. Nearly any guy can tell you at least something about some kind of tank. Even my goomba brother.