Slippers, Part 2

I stared at Shrek for the longest time. This was the best piece of news ever.

I quickly broke it down for Shrek and explained to him the plan that would really make him "The Man" and return my Birkies to me.

"Ok. Where are the slippers?

"Singapore. But Vinu spends his weekends in JB, with his girlfriend. My sister's girlfriend's sister."

"Tell Vinu to bring the slippers with him the next time he goes over to JB. Ask him to pass them to his girlfriend, who will pass them to her sister, who will pass them to YOUR sister, who will pass them to you."

"Settle man. But how are you going to get them from me?"

"Bring them with you the next time you come up to KL"

"Oh man, even better. Deepavali is next month. How about I pass them over to CC when he comes back to see his family? Then he can just pass it to you when he gets back to work"

"I love you Shrek. That is brilliant"

It really was brilliant, but I had forgotten one major obstacle in my path to slipper reunion: The plan required lots of communication between at least SIX different Indian people (2 girls, 4 guys) over 3 cities and roughly 375 kilometers between start and finish.

Deepavali came and went. Vinu wasn't answering his phone. Shrek was flim flamming about. CC was laughing in my face. He went back to JB for the holidays, got really drunk, and came back empty handed. With my feet bare but my whiskey glass full, I remember a quiet moment during my crazy Deepavali open house when I accepted that I was never going to get my slippers back unless I physically went down South and got all Search & Rescue on the situation. But that plan wasn't going to happen anytime soon either.

Many moons came and went. My Birkenstocks had become an infected thorn in the side of my memory banks... that fateful day where I spent so much money on slippers. Every time I found myself with no money, the short film of Koobz forking over two crisp S$50 bills for a pair of slippers would repeat continuously in my mental cineplex to sold out audiences... until I bumped into Shrek.

"I have your slippers"

"REALLY? FUCK MAN! THANKS! WHERE ARE THEY?"

"JB"

"Shit... ok... at least you have them now. Can you bring them up the next time you come to KL?"

"No problem, but these days I live in Melaka (1 hour north of JB, 2 hours south of KL)"

"Bloody shit you Shrek"

The biggest bloody shit though had to be on fate. Somehow footwear positivity had seeped into my consciousness. Merely having my slippers in the same country as me (yet less than 50km closer) was a big step forward. I knew I was going to get them back soon, and I knew my big opportunity would be Chinese New Year when CC would head back home for the holidays.

I did all my preparations. I called Shrek and made sure he had them. I left him specific instructions over what to do. I broke it down to CC, letting him know that he is not to return to KL until he has my slippers. Tronics, Upek, CC and myself had a small shadaggle before sending him off to the bus station and CC was on his way... but then decided not to take the bus down and we continued shadaggling at my parent-less (they were Istanbul-ing it) house. CC left the next day with his brother Jimi.

I waited... and waited... and waited. I mean, I wasn't just waiting. I was doing other things. Open houses, sending out mass CNY smses, drinking, shadaggling, and overall just living the beach lifestyle at my beach-less home. I completely forgot about the slippers. For the first time in yonks, my mind was at ease and my Birkenstocks could do whatever the hell they wanted to for all I cared. I was over them. I WAS OVER THEM.

CNY came and went. I went back to work and was late as usual. CC was at the office closing accounts, so we decided to do what we always do and cobra-ed our way out of there. Snoop was telling us to drop it like it's hot, the greenery was in full effect, and my mind was on my money and my money was on my mind... until CC reached into the back and threw an orange plastic bag at me.

"Ah... take your bloody slippers. Now just shut up about it. Rm200 for slippers... what the hell is wrong with you?"

I was stunned. I reached into the bag and pulled them out. My 6 hour used Birkenstocks! The light green suede upper still had the outline of my footprint on it from the first time I wore them. The dark brown leather straps were soft yet had all the strength they would need to move the Koobz around the city. They fit perfectly.

Here they are. Birkenstock Gizeh Winetasting Soft Gloss.



Strangely enough, the website had them under the Women's section. Bloody shit you Birkenstock. Men can wear them too.

In fact, they are all this man wears these days.