Too Sensor-tive

It is important, as a guy, to take stock of where the hottest girls in your immediate vicinity are at all times. It is a basic function of the male radar. As I was in the process of buying halal and non-halal lunch for the homeys at the production house I'm currently working at, I spied a rather fetching Damansara Heights broad-shouldered slightly tanned honey sitting near the char kway teow stall, having a rather loud conversation about fetching her little brother from school and NOT being happy about it. Her boyfriend munched away on his fruit rojak demurely, listening to the diatribe. She was fun to look at, not listen to. I had the privilege to walk by her twice. She did not have a tattoo. Oh well.

On my way out, the carpark widened out near the autopay machine so El Stormo Guapo sidled up next to another SUV, leaving the road clear for people to exit. I am a conscientious driver... but just as I was about to come to a stop, a car honked at me.

Whoops.

I was blocking someone who was trying to reverse out. It was the hottie from the char kway teow stall. Helloooooo thereeeeee, actually more like No Problem M'aam. Within 2 seconds, I was in reverse and started to back up again as to let my obstructed honker out into the world.

HONKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I slammed on my brakes and checked my mirrors. Nothing on the left, on the right, nothing behind me. Just the obstructed car. So I started moving again.

HONKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

What the bumbaclat was going on? I looked over to my impatient captive. With her hand poised on her steering wheel, she was definitely horny, and not shy about it. At that point, her boyfriend walked passed and started to get into her passenger seat. He had a look of death on his face, like as if I had just run over his fruit rojak and stole his earplugs that carried him all through lunch. He was checking out the bums of our cars, looking out for traded paint... alas, there was none. I took the opportunity to put my window down.

ME: Hi, is there a problem?

HER: WHY ARE YOU DRIVING SO CLOSE TO MY CAR????

ME: What?

HER: WHY ARE YOU DRIVING SO CLOSE TO MY CAR????

ME: Did I hit it???

HER: NO! BUT MY SENSORS ARE GOING OFF?



ME: That's because you are in reverse gear... and I didn't hit your car because I know what I am doing. I am more than a foot away from your car. Thank you.

HER: IS THAT TRUE REGGIE? IS HE MORE THAN A FOOT AWAY?

***SCENE****

Oh Reggie. I bet you didn't tell the truth. She was hot enough to lie for...